Asking Knolan about his day feels like I am interrogating a criminal some nights. Take tonight's bathtub chat, for example.
Me: Tell me 3 things you liked doing at school today, buddy!
Knolan: I didn't do anything today.
Me: That can't possibly be true. Did you learn any new math stuff?
Knolan: (whining) Nooo. We didn't do ANYTHINGGGG!
Me: So if I asked Mr. Elmes why your class sat at their desks doing nothing all day, would he have a good reason for that?
Knolan: Nooooo!!! Not Mr. Elmes!! Don't do that!!!! Ok, ok... I'll talk!
Me: Oh! Cool! So you DID do stuff today? Was it math? science? art?
Knolan: Yeah. Art. We did art.
Me: Cool! what did you do?
Knolan: I don't know.
Me: What? You don't know? Well, was it drawing? painting? sculpting?
Knolan: (exasperated) PAINTING.
Me: That sounds awesome! What did you paint?
Knolan: I don't remember.
Me: You don't remember?
Knolan: I don't remember!
Me: Maybe you painted something cool like your cats?
Knolan: That's impossible! The whole class painted the same thing, MOM!
Me: OK... did you all paint donkeys? Flowers?
Knolan: (throwing his head back, closing his eyes and fake crying) LANDSCAPES! We all painted... landscapes. (calming down and deep breathing... eyes still closed) Landscapes is what we painted. We all did it. Are you happy now? You got what you wanted.
Me: Aww buddy... see? That wasn't so hard, was it? I just care about you and like to hear about your day!
silence.
more silence.
Knolan: Hey Mom.
Me: Yes?
Knolan: Look... I'm milking my hair.
*sigh*
Editor's note: I really need to remember to pick my moments... no need to traumatize my kids just for the sake of conversation!
