Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Bathroom Incident

It's the weekend!  So far mine has been fabby-doo... hope yours has been too!

It's a rare occurrence that our son Knolan does something that's easy to blog about, so when he does, I get chomping at the bit to share.  So, here's a little bathroom tale to add to your weekend reading list.

Knolan and I both had appointments with our doctor downtown this week, so I took the opportunity to set a meeting with my boss while I was down there to talk about my return to work post maternity leave.  After my meeting with her, my friend Hilda and I had planned to go for dinner.  As we were on our way out, Hilda noticed a distinct 'essence de Knolan' wafting through the air.  So, off I trucked to the office washroom to freshen the little guy up.

Upon entering the washroom, it suddenly dawned on me that office washrooms don't generally have an infant change table - and our office washroom was no exception.  So, I elected to put my change pad down on the countertop between the sinks to change my little stinker.  The set up looked like this:  (*Make note of my letter legend... that will come in handy later.  Also, sorry you have to scroll so much to see it!)

So, I lovingly begin to change Knolan's diaper - which, incidentally, is packed to the brim with the source of the 'essence'.  Wonderful.  And of course, he is completely preoccupying me with his most recent developmental milestone... that would be his insistence on jamming both his hands between his bum cheeks.  I am such a proud mama.  *sigh*

As I try desperately to control the situation - neither wanting to drop my poor baby on the floor, nor to sully the office washroom countertop - Knolan decides to investigate that shiny silver box on the wall to his right (In the "A" position in my diagram).  As he reaches out to caress this new shiny toy of his, I hear a little "wrrrr" sound, and look just in time to see this silver box dump a big puddle of liquid hand soap all over his arm.

Apparently the soap dispenser in our office washroom is now one of those handy automatic ones!  Well, if you are a fan of the philosophical concept of cause and effect, you're gonna love the chain of events that this soap dispenser triggered!

As the soap dispenser exacted its revenge on Knolan at point A in the diagram, I reacted by freaking out and whipping him - complete with soap-coated arm and essence-covered rear - forcefully to the right.

This put his head directly under the newly automated faucet at position "B" in my diagram!!! 

Poor Knolan's big ol' noggin was soaked by the instant stream of water that hit his head.  Of course, this made him kind of spaz out and start flipping his soap arm around while he attempted some sort of death roll that would put a crocodile to shame!  All the while, his crap covered diaper is just barely clinging to his little butt... thankfully!

And how do I react?  Oh, I whip him forcefully to the LEFT (under the faucet labelled "C"), which triggers a blast of water that soaks his feet and shoes instantly.  Of course!  At this point, even Knolan has succumbed to shock (which effectively put an end to the death-rolling... woo hoo!), and I just burst into maniacal laughter because I just didn't know what else to do!

After I managed to pull myself together and stop thrusting Knolan under automatic washroom features, I somehow managed to actually change the diaper and dry the poor kid off.  I dutifully cleaned up the puddle of soap, and wiped down the counters, and soon enough it looked just like an innocent bathroom once again, as opposed to the venus fly trap for babies that it actually is!

Oh well... it made for a good laugh when I came out of the washroom and told Hilda what had happened, and now I have a great story to tell Knolan when he's older.

Am I the only one that this kind of stuff happens to?

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